Days I Wish I Were Anonymous

The thing that has taken up the vast majority of my time this semester — and something on the order of 95% of my emotional energy — is something I absolutely, positively cannot write about. Not even in allegorized form. And it’s less of an exaggeration than I’d like to think to suggest that this unmentionable thing is killing me: I’m developing an ulcer, I’ve only gotten a few decent nights’ sleep in the last few weeks, and my stupid floppy mitral valve has been producing intermittent chest pain. All stress-induced, of course, and precisely the kind of thing that it usually helps to vent about.

But I can’t, not this time. Instead, I cut my hair, bought good ass-kicking boots, and am counting the days until I can get the hell out of here.

This is not how I want to feel about my job. And this is certainly not how I want to feel about my life.

6 thoughts on “Days I Wish I Were Anonymous

  1. I have the same problem, and coincidentally cut all my hair off a few weeks ago too. I don’t understand why this is a stress reaction, but it is.

  2. Honestly, I think anonymity is over-rated. First of all, it’s a myth. Those who want to find out, will – or at least can. Second, and subsequently, by not being anonymous, one keeps one’s foot out of one’s mouth (hopefully) more than one might otherwise should one, you know, believe one was anonymous.

    There’s a lot of one’s in that sentence, but typing it out as “you” sounded so… accusatory.

    Anyway, point being, I’d pick the ass-kicking boots and private conversations over a beer any day of the week above a blog post. Easier to know who to dope-slap if your musings are made public when the only people who know your thoughts on such private matters are your hairdresser, the bartender, and the shoe-salesperson. Know what I mean?

    Good luck with whatever nonsense is going on.

  3. yikes, i’m sorry to hear this news kathleen.

    sweet boots, though. you should totally wear them to work on monday.

    the best jobs allow us to grow and thrive and (sometimes) feel fulfilled – we shouldn’t settle for anything less than that.

    wear the boots but don’t use them on anyone!

  4. I hope you find a way to feel better.

    Please know that reading your blog has been very thought-provoking, helpful and fun for me and i am glad that you have taken the time to do it.

    But please make sure your top priority is to take care of yourself. You deserve it!

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